I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
