Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
