k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
