God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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