i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
do herpes really smell.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
