having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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