cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
