I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize