My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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