im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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