Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
