i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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