oh god the rape fog is back!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
