There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
