At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
