If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
