plz talk dirty to me
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
