hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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