She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
