the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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