i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
