It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
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haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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