She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
operation have a gay friend backfired
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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