Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
