Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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