im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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