During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
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