R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
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my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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