happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
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that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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