i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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