I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
