Well apparently he's into motor boating.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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