wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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