just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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