i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
