My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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