what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
