Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
