Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
