Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
