If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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