I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
