U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
