OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
