Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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