your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just gift wrapped bread.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
