I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
