Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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