it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
