Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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