I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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