I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We had sex on a dog bed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize