just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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