Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
