i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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