I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
