Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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