Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
