What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
