That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
