you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
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She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
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That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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