I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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