That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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