sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
