I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
