These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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